Crazy is as crazy does

I feel like I need to scream! AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.  I consider myself a patient person for the most part, these past few days have really tested that virtue.

 Last month marked my 7 year anniversary of working on a psych unit.  We have had several patients who test our staff’s good nature and trustfulness.  More than one patient has chosen to break plastic flatware and use the broken edge to cut on him/ herself.  One person I had to wrestle in order to get the contraband out of her hand.  I engage in conversation and try to help them overcome these urges and to get to the root of the issue.  I am not sure if they want help or not, but that’s what they are here for and that is what I am here for.  My help, nor anyone else’s for that matter, they do not take. Plastic (because no silverware is allowed on our unit)  ware used for cutting seems to be the trend around here.

Typically, my school of thought is don’t complain unless you are willing to do something to change the situation.  I am at the point where I would seriously consider quitting this job.  I have 2 other jobs and my bills, I thought, were minimal. I found out some pretty ominous financial news today. I can not quit this job and my financial situation requires a miracle in order to recover.  I can pretty much guarantee that I will be single because of it.  I know that I would not want to be financially tied to someone in my situation. 

So that’s my life: lonely and broke.  Awesome.

I am content knowing what my future holds.  I don’t have to worry about getting married again or having any more kids, since I know that it isn’t going to happen.  I find comfort in it.  It doesn’t necessarily make me happy, but I no longer have to wonder.  And that’s okay.

Just needed to vent.

Couldn’t have said it better…

I love analogies. Beth wrote a great analogy about her life and it is synonymous with how I view my life.

I think if one seeks improving, then her analogy is spot on. I know people who’s life is in pieces and they do nothing to get it together, pun intended. In fact the areas that are together and healthy,  they manage to tear apart. Extremely sad to witness.

Piece by piece, little by little, choice by choice, it will become….something beautiful.

You had me at bacon.

I was reading this article about how to stop overeating, and was taking in the info just fine until I read the nutrition professor’s name. Linda Bacon. Then, all I could think about was crispy, delicious bacon. And how much I love, love, love a delicious breakfast. I don’t know if it’s some kind of dirty thick, but after reading this, I was less concerned about overeating and more concerned with how hungry I was.

Which reminds me of a story: I babysat for some friends on Saturday. When they Came home, the wife stumbled into the house and went straight to bed (read: passed out).  Apparently she and her husband had been fighting all evening-she was mad at him for something or other.  Their friends were there,  discussing the fight and how husband ought to go about fixing said problem. Husband’s friend suggested that he make breakfast for wife. He was skeptical, but I said, “Nothing says ‘I’m sorry’ like waking up to the smell of sizzling bacon.” He laughed and said that he wished that I was his wife. Ha! Not a chance.

And that’s all I have to say about bacon.

April Fool

For the first time ever, I was NOT the fool today.  I played a pretty good joke on my co-workers, though, due to the fact that they are aware of my personal life and  use of the internet.  I could not have pulled this off if I had to do it face to face because I am a terrible liar, even when it is a joke.  So this is what I did.

I had, coincidentally, taken the morning off to get my hair done, but my stylist cancelled, so I took breakfast to my sister, whose birthday is today.  I went to work around noon.  I got some stuff done and then, casually sent out an email.  I am such a dork, I was laughing as I typed it.  It read:  Ladies,  I went to the doctor this morning and it’s official, I’m pregnant!  I’m due Christmas Eve and am excited despite the less than ideal circumstances.  We have not decided what the future holds, but are looking forward to this baby.  Just wanted you to know in case I start acting weirder than usual. 

Then, I send a second email that simply said, “April Fool!”

This is funny for a couple of reasons: 1. They all know that I am not and have not dated since the divorce (which, really, is more sad than funny)  2. I just got divorced for crying out loud.  I was going to add something about the ex being the dad, but I didn’t want anyone to have a heart attack.  And THAT is so NOT funny.

Anyway, I thought it was funny because I haven’t even KISSED anyone for over a year.  So, becoming pregnant would be a miracle of God.