Seven things about me

27 09 2007

I have been tagged by my dear friend, Sandra to tell you seven random things about me.

1. I used to want to be a truck driver.

2. I work with children who have autism and psych patients.

3. I love a good challenge.  Obviously

4. I get annoyed by people who lack common sense.  Sometimes, I am one of those people.

5. Psychotic patients are my favorite. What does that say about me?

6. I’m dying to go to NYC.

7. I’m in the middle of a divorce. I will be so happy when it’s final. 

That’s it for today!

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My invite

12 09 2007

During the school year I work with autistic kids at an elementary school.  One of the things I do is sit with a kindergartener during lunch and help him eat.  He would much rather run and jump around, so it is a challenging task, to say the least.  We sit with the rest of the kindergarteners and the other day a little girl sat across from us.  She was very sweet and thoughtful.  She was telling me about how if her class gets 20 gumballs, they get to have a popcorn party.

“That’s sounds so fun!”  I say, “Popcorn is delicious!”  I pumped up my enthusiasm since I could tell this was a big deal for her. 

She then says, “Well maybe sometime you can come over and watch a movie and we can get my mom or dad to make us some popcorn.”  So cute.

I can’t help but crack up thinking about her asking her mom and dad if her friend, Tina, could come over and in walks a 34- year- old, who clearly needs to GET A LIFE!  It is fun talking to the 5-year-olds.  I love their perspective and they are so darn cute!

And, for the record, I do have friends my own age. 





Alive Day

9 09 2007

There is a pressure in my chest.  I fear the ripple effects of war in general.  I know the pain that it causes and how it changes people to their core.  I feel for the wives and the children, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends. 

My dad fought in the Vietnam War, serving a one year tour.  That one year changed the course of his entire life.  He was in the army and he was a good soldier.  He suffered much trauma, of which he rarely spoke.  The few stories that he would tell are seared into my brain.  I try to put myself in his shoes and feel what he felt.  I know that in all my trying I will never come near to the agony that was experienced.

My dad was unable to fall asleep unless he was wasted.  He spent most days drinking.  He was a highly functioning alcoholic.  He was able to hold down a job and financially provide for his family.  Emotionally, however, he was void.  He loved, I believe, as best he could.  His way of showing it was by buying us what we wanted.  He could not delve into his emotional side because to do so would be to face the monster in him created by fighting in Vietnam.

He describes the situation simply as a “kill or be killed, and I came back alive.”  He was trained to kill and that is what he did for  a year of his life.  At the same time, he witnessed dozens of his comrades, men he had grown to know, trust and respect, be killed.  Combine that with an unwelcome homecoming, and his trauma was set; it was deep and there would be no recovery.

I witness how it effected my parents marriage, how my dad interacted with my sisters and me and how he dealt with life in general.  He worked and he drank.  All of his energy went into those two things.  I often think about what life would have been like for my dad if he had made different choices.

He also suffered from survivor’s guilt.  I recall countless conversations me trying to convince him to be grateful for his life and appreciate all the he had been blessed with.  The grief kept him from reaching a place of acceptance and joy.  And that continues to break my heart to this day.

All this to say that war effects not only the soldiers and not only the ones with physical scars-it effects all soldiers, and their families.  My prayer is that support is available and accessible to those suffering.  My goal is to do what I can to support our troops.  I have adopted a soldier from www.soldiersangels.com.  Little is expected compared to what our soldiers are sacrificing.  For me this is not a political issue, it is personal.  There is nothing I can do to stop the war or change what is going on, but I can help one person feel that there is someone out there who cares and is praying for him or her.

And if you didn’t catch the HBO special, Alive Day, I strongly recommend it.  And I would love to hear others thoughts and feelings.