Marriage…or the lack thereof

22 10 2007

When I was with my soon-to-be ex-husband, I worked hard to try to live up to his expectations.  I was never good enough, and he constantly complained.  I repeatedly asked him what he wanted from me and I NEVER got a response from him.  And yet he continued to complain.  And he was verbally abusive, then he became physically abusive.  That is where I draw the line.  Many of the issues prior to the abuse were, in my opinion, deal-breakers.  But I stayed and would continue to work to make our home and life a happy one.  I can put up with about anything;  I am resilient and loving and continually look for the good in others.  NO ONE should put up with abuse. 

Now, he continually asks and wonders if I am seeing someone.  He wants to know how single life is treating me.  Single life is not ideal, but it is a hell of a lot better than having someone verbally and physically abuse me IN FRONT OF OUR SON.  And now he questions my actions and lifestyle??  We are not divorced yet.  I would not and could not consider starting a relationship at this point.  And, honestly, it will take me a long time to heal emotionally before I can even think about doing anything like that.  I want to get my life together, myself together.  And now he acts like he cares.  I don’t understand and probably never will.  I do know that a little of this would have gone a long way when we were together.  Now it is too late. 

And it still hurts like hell.

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One response

23 10 2007
Big Pumpkin

All the warm love and hugs to you, honey. Stay strong. I’m with you. *smile*

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