19 12 2007

One of my favorite songs is “More Love” by the Dixie Chicks.  Every line resonates with me, but there is a line that really hits home.  Especially now, for some reason.

“We’re afraid to be idle, so we fill up the days.  We run on the treadmill, keep slaving away, until there’s no time for talking about trouble in mind and the doors are all closed between your heart and mine.”

Maybe I keep so busy so that I don’t have to deal with issues.  Makes sense, I guess.  I tried to meditate tonight.  It helped a little, but mostly what it did was bring up more issues and emotions to deal with.  Great.  Like I have time for that.

 I am frustrated by the actions of people in general and two people in particular, one of my sisters and a person who I thought was a good friend.  My sister is around when it is convienent for her.  I pick up my 2-year-old niece for her often.  I appreciate having some kind of notice, so that Jake and I don’t get home from our day and get settled and then go pick her up.  I prefer to know early in the day, so that I can run errands and plan around it.  It is not “on our way” to go get her and take her to my sister’s work.  I love to do it, though.  I enjoy seeing her and have taken care of her quite a bit in her short life.  Anyway, I picked her up today (my sister texted me right about the time Jake was snoozing on the couch) and took her to my sister’s work (Jake fell asleep in the car).  When I dropped her off my sister did not say ONE word to me.  Nothing.  A “Thank you” would have been nice.  I am irritated when I am there for her to pick up my niece at the drop of a hat and when she and her husband get in a fight, give her a place to stay when she needs it and still support her in her marriage.  Where is the love?

My friend started dating a guy from her work.  Her pattern is to drop her friends when she starts seeing someone.  I don’t get this.  So she has broke 2 plans that we have had in the past 4 days, not to mention the plans broken prior to this weekend.  No call, no apology.  I would like to know what is going on.  If she decides to go do something with him, fine, just let me know.  I will at least feel some level of respect, instead of just being blown off.  I don’t have a lot of social time-I could do something with someone else…

Am I way off base?

Just ranting.  Tired all day, now it’s bedtime and I can’t sleep.  Sucks.




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