18 03 2008


Put a fork in me ’cause I am D-O-N-E.

I don’t like to complain, I really don’t.  But I am beat.  Beat down.  Tired of being the “go-to-girl.”  I am there, in full force, whenever anyone needs anything.  I gladly do so.

In return? I get disrespect in multiple forms.  It is exhausting. I can and am willing to give as much as I am capable of giving.  But when I get, figuratively, kicked in the teeth, well that just breaks my heart.  I guess I’m naive thinking that everyone is loving and happy and willing to help others. I don’t even want or need help.  Is respect too much to ask?

Apparently so.  I understand the respect is earned. And I am also realizing that people are cruel.  In most situations, it is in a passive-aggressive manner. Which just sickens me. Because they plan it and intend to behave that way.  In all this mess, as of late, I have learned to set strict boundaries.  I realize that when people don’t care about me, likely, will not give a hoot about boundaries I choose to set.  I have to set them for me.

Soon, I will take a vacation.  By myself.  It’ll just be me and Mexico.  ASAP.  The thought of it is just about the only thing getting me through.  That and my son, my niece, and my friend Becca.  They are the only reasons I’d even come back.




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