Crazy is as crazy does

15 04 2008

I feel like I need to scream! AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.  I consider myself a patient person for the most part, these past few days have really tested that virtue.

 Last month marked my 7 year anniversary of working on a psych unit.  We have had several patients who test our staff’s good nature and trustfulness.  More than one patient has chosen to break plastic flatware and use the broken edge to cut on him/ herself.  One person I had to wrestle in order to get the contraband out of her hand.  I engage in conversation and try to help them overcome these urges and to get to the root of the issue.  I am not sure if they want help or not, but that’s what they are here for and that is what I am here for.  My help, nor anyone else’s for that matter, they do not take. Plastic (because no silverware is allowed on our unit)  ware used for cutting seems to be the trend around here.

Typically, my school of thought is don’t complain unless you are willing to do something to change the situation.  I am at the point where I would seriously consider quitting this job.  I have 2 other jobs and my bills, I thought, were minimal. I found out some pretty ominous financial news today. I can not quit this job and my financial situation requires a miracle in order to recover.  I can pretty much guarantee that I will be single because of it.  I know that I would not want to be financially tied to someone in my situation. 

So that’s my life: lonely and broke.  Awesome.

I am content knowing what my future holds.  I don’t have to worry about getting married again or having any more kids, since I know that it isn’t going to happen.  I find comfort in it.  It doesn’t necessarily make me happy, but I no longer have to wonder.  And that’s okay.

Just needed to vent.

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3 responses

16 04 2008
SatinBarbie

Lonely and broke. The story of my life!! So much so I’m at the point of considering a 2nd job AND a roommate! Sighhhhhhhhh. And vent, girl, vent! It’s sometimes the only way to keep the “crazies” as bay. 🙂 Here’s hoping you soon see a light at the end of the tunnel! BTW, I’m slowly working up to another post….score 1 for me!

19 04 2008
romi41

that is definitely some crazy stuff to deal with; hope it felt better to let it all out in the open, and though the situation is tough right now, keep your eyes open for new job opportunities (I know that sounds like a cliche, but I really think it helps!)

Hope you’re having a nice weekend 🙂

19 04 2008
Sandy

Hey Love,
I know the story all to well. We are soulmates in the struggle! If I drank I would take a shot for you, but instead I’ll say a prayer!

Love Ya!

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