What it is.

7 06 2008

Funny thing.  For a couple of years, I have not felt confident in myself, nor have I felt that I was attractive.  To anyone, let alone men.  All I hear (or let myself hear) is how men want skinny women and perfect women.  It is everywhere-movies, magazines, on the street.  I am not skinny.  Nor am I perfect.  Not. Even. Close.  Certainly, though, I ought to be good enough for someone.  A man to whom I am mutually attracted.  Surely, that has to exist. 

Then, last week, I kept asking God to send that man, the one who finds me attractive.  Me and my body type and cellulite and all.  And I found him.  Or he found me.  And let me just tell you, not what I expected.  At all.  He is cute.  VERY CUTE.  With full sleeves on both arms.  The thing about tattoos?  I am usually repulsed by them and would not give a man with tattoos a second look.  Yet, on this fellow, I found I actually liked them.  We talked for awhile and he told me that he was 24.  Years.  Old.  I have not dated anyone more than a couple years younger than me.  If I wasn’t going to judge him for the tattoos, then I certainly wasn’t going to let age get in the way.  Besides, he is adorable.  We went out the next night.  Then I realized, fully, that he was not the sharpest tool in the shed.  A tool, yes.  Sharp.  Not even a little bit.  Then he shows me his myspace.  And, oh how tacky it is.  I won’t even go into it.  He shows me his ex-girlfriend.  And I see that his age is….twenty two.  And there were more lies that just age, which is quite significant.  I am glad that I have the proof of his myspace, or no one would believe this story.

I found that during our conversations, the most common response from him was a blank stare.  I do not claim to be super intelligent.  I am a college graduate and have a decent vocabulary.  I dumbed myself down for the ex and that is something I refuse to do again.  Also, I found myself being too maternal around him.  Maybe because is closer to my son’s age than to mine.  Ha. 

His IQ score was surpassed only by the number of tattoos on his body.  And though he is adorable and into me, I need a man with a brain.  A brain that he chooses to use.  I think that God is just telling me to keep my mind open…that I never know what is around the corner.  And the next time I ask God to send a man who is attracted to me?  I will be much more specific.

Haha.  God is funny.



One response

8 06 2008

Tina, my poor poor Tina. Have I not told you how amazingly funny you are? I’d date you and be everything you needed except for the whole me being a man thing. lol!!! I still think it’s awesome that a younger guy is drooling after you. I briefly dated at 21 year old. I didn’t have feel like his mother, but just a really annoyed older sister!

You know if you would have asked me about 3 years ago what I wanted in a man, hands down it would have been a complete and total hottie (think Brad Pitt before the kids) but now that I’m older and SOMEWHAT mature looks take a backseat to intelligence. It’s important to be able to have an age appropriate conversation with someone and if they can’t hold your attention intellectually then that’s a definite turn off.

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